The Crest of Intimacy


Intimacy is one of those things that no matter how connected we are to another human being, remains a tenuous place of risk and discovery.

Risking intimacy, and then finding out that we are still loved and treasured, indeed we are even more valued, rewires a part of our inner self that was tensing and hardening around the wounding of previous risk taking when we were not so lovingly met, held and honored. All the scar tissue that grew out of those painful moments collectively influenced our dance into superficial ways of being with even the people who love and know us best.

Creating sacred space within yourself and with others, as we do in sacred circle, reminds you that you actually are safe in your own skin and you can take that out in to the world and self-attend in all circumstances, contrary to what years and years of self betrayal may have imbedded in your nervous system.

There are 2 kinds of women who come to sacred circle. There are the circle virgins, and there are the circle S.L.U.T.s. The circle virgin is in circle for her very first time. She’s usually nervous, wondering why she’s here at all, and wishes she were somewhere else doing something not nearly as unfamiliar, not to mention terrifying!

The circle S.L.U.T. on the other hand, the Sensual, Loving, Used-by-spirit, Truth telling woman, waltzes, shimmies or sashays into circle instantly feeling plugged into the high energy vibration and ready to play, dance, and journey again with her Sisters. It’s not that she doesn’t have hesitations of her own, it’s just that she knows the animal that is circle, and trusts the adventure into intimate communion that awaits.

As you can imagine from the descriptions above you can tell a virgin from a S.L.U.T pretty easily. And what’s so divine about the juxtaposition of these opposites, and the sacred safe space where both groups of sisters are held, honored and valued, is that virgins are welcomed open heartedly by their S.L.U.T sisters, and S.L.U.Ts are humbled and deeply compassionate for the bridge about to be crossed by their cautious virgin Sisters, remembering that they too at one time sat in the same cushion that their sister is now occupying.

The edge that Virgins and SLUTs together straddle is what I call the crest of intimacy. No matter how often we have come to the precarious place where intimacy is imminent, there is a hesitation that stirs within. Being seen, being truly and authentically seen, is just plain scary. But each time we risk that place and are welcomed and held in a safe and loving way, we are given access to an orgasm like relief & pleasure that heals and wholes us. Clearly it is so very worth the risk!

Like anything, melting into greater intimate connection with yourself is something that happens over time through devotion and care. The women who keep coming back to circle are devoted to the evolution of consciousness and awakening for themselves and our planet that is ignited and stoked in sacred sister circles. Virgins and SLUTs sit and dance side-by-side, weaving together our innocence and wisdom, sharing the intimate dance of re-birth, emerging from the womb both for ourselves and for all our sisters.

About Leela Francis

Creator of Vividly Woman Tools and Training, Leela Francis is intensely devoted to aiding women and the men in their lives, to personally flourish through her live presentations, special events, monthly community engagements and experiential tools and enhanced life skill trainings. Read More...

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