More Yummy, Less Yucky

3 Tips for Cultivating Witness Versus Wallow Consciousness

Recently I noticed myself wallowing in some feelings of sadness. The sadness was brought on by me comparing myself to a woman who I was perceiving as more successful than I. As a result I was actively self deprecating and feeling inadequate. Yes, I confess that sometimes I do let comparing myself to others get me down, and it can be a real drag. Fortunately lately I’ve had the insight and awareness to witness what’s happening instead of let myself be pummeled by the self pity that often in the past would ensue. Though I still felt the sadness, I was also able to be with it in a way that allowed me to honor my feelings instead of be a victim to them.

Here are 3 practices that I use to get me into the witness and out of the wallower.

1. Feeling & Sensing; Notice your feelings and their corresponding sensations instead of the narrative in your mind that justifies the feeling. Letting go of the story and being a witness to sensation and feeling, brings you to truth that empowers you instead of story that debilitates you.

2. Be Self Referencing: Acknowledge self referring vs external referring behavior. Are your choices motivated by your inner preferences or by outside standards? Witness your tendency towards one or the other to identify whether you are living and choosing authentically for you.

3. Take Responsibility: Do you take responsibility for your life or do your tend to blame people or circumstances outside yourself. Witnessing why things are the way they are, with you as the director and the producer of your life, not just the lead actor, will encourage “yummy” way quicker than the victim “yucky” experience of your life’s dramas.

The cultivation of witness consciousness is an ongoing practice. We have to stalk the wallowing tendencies and be gentle when we find them, witnessing even that with a loving “ah so”, and choose to dance in the light of the witness helping to dismantle the darkness of the wallower.

Leela Francis is the founder of Vividly Woman. An embodiment Expert, facilitator and coach, she inspires the values of the divine feminine in work and in play.

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"This is not my Beautiful Life" (yes as in the Talking Heads song!)

It was in the space between waking and dream, tangled and tripping on the thin veils that define the two realities, when I stubbed my toe on an old rotting stump of a memory.

It was cold tile slick with my snot and tears, I was gagging on the mediocrity of my life. “How did this happen to me?” Even more disturbing was the lack any real proof or permission to feel this way.

I had a successful and thriving business, a healthy child, a relationship free of infidelity, physical abuse, etc. I chose to work 3 days a week. I had a loving supportive family to watch my son. My Yoga practice was consistent and strong. I had plenty of time to cook, paint, write, hike…

Why had this life become too small, so intolerable? What was this growing resistance inside of me? Why was I insistent on more?

That day I screamed it out loud to my shower curtain, to the gods of plenty, (and apparently to a neighbor who came over later to check on me) “THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE! I WANT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE! NO MORE MEDIOCRITY, ENOUGH!!! I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REALLY LIVE MY LIFE!” over and over and over again.

(The next day in Yoga class my left hip was magically opened. The hip that I had all but given up on. That’s another story for another time.)

8 years later, this morning, I leapt out of bed… The awareness of that declaration made manifest. I was thrust into this truth: I am doing it. I have been slowly but surely creating, cultivating, growing, nurturing my beautiful life. It is extraordinary. I have released what no longer served me, upgraded from mediocrity, I surrendered and birthed a whole other me, that was asking to be born.

My days are rich with deep connection. I am in meaningful service and PLAY! I have amazing communities of sisters, dancers, coaches, artists, and mentors! I get to dance almost everyday! I love my body, finally! I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, and I love them!

How did I get to be this lucky?

Wait I’m not done…there’s more!

This Thursday I am leaving to spend more than a week in Troncones, Mexico. I will be in Circle with my Vividly Woman Community! Dancing, playing, swimming and soaking in “Sacred Sensual Splendor”. (learn more!)

This is not luck. It is intention, it is saying YES to my heart’s desires. I am powerful in my life.

We are powerful in our lives. I choose to be extraordinary! Did you hear that? We can choose the extraordinary!

Tell me, are you living YOUR beautiful life?

Kara McKay is a certified Nia & Yoga teacher, Vividly Woman Co-Facilitator & coach. She guides women from their head back home to their body.

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