Changing Boundaries

Boundaries are fluid and alive. They change to accommodate circumstances, moods and current needs. Knowing this is essential. Expect your boundaries to organically shift if they are an authentic expression of you. This is your body and your energy speaking to you. An authentic relationship boundary can and does change.

Rather than being a wall to keep people or things out, a boundary is like a container that allows you to have more of you.

As the dance of life ebbs and flows,

boundaries ebb and flow as well.

Boundaries can be fluid, fixed, contracted, and expanded. Most likely we all experience a little of each at different moments, in different situations, with different individuals, etc. As the dance of life ebbs and flows, boundaries ebb and flow as well.

A fluid boundary flows and changes according to the situation. A fixed boundary is rigid and does not easily accommodate changing circumstances. A contracted boundary causes one to shrink back, shut down and/or lose power. An expanded boundary may cause one to be overbearing, approval seeking and/or lose a realistic sense of oneself.

By now your probably getting a sense of how true boundaries are always an authentic expression of you. The value of honoring authentic boundaries in your life is beyond measure because it will show up in every relationship and impact all outcomes.

I learned this in powerful way a long time ago with one of my employers. Working for Jake was not a pleasant experience. His anger brought up for me the anger I had experienced with other important men in my life. His critical nature tended to feed the judgments I held about myself and reminded me of the anger I can easily turn inward.

When I began to practice taking a deep breath and drawing an imaginary boundary in my mind during our interactions, I magically started to sense my own power when I found myself in his presence. I could let him be who he is, how he is, and I no longer took on his negative projections. My boundary acted like a bubble or shield protecting me/distinguishing me from stuff that truly was not mine.

Awareness helps us to make necessary choices

rather than be run by habit

Different relationships and circumstances elicit different boundaries. Often a certain relationship or situation has a characteristic boundary that we automatically step into out of habit. Awareness helps us to make necessary choices rather than be run by habit or external factors, and facilitates a depth of meaning in relation to our own felt sense of boundaries.

Boundaries are a natural part of relationships. Our ability to notice our boundaries when we relate will help us to stay in our power and identify meaning in our relationships.

Learn more and experience boundary exercises in the Vividly Woman Monthly Community Online Program.

Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She’s the founder and CEO of Vividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

Read More →