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Planned Imperfection

 

 

I have an amazing painting at my house that is done in the encaustic style. Beeswax is melted and applied to the canvas and there is also some pigment. The artist must work quickly to work with the wax as it hardens. My painting is a black and white portrait of a woman gazing wistfully upward. It is extremely well done, almost perfect, save for one feature. The artist, Bigoudi, always lets some of the wax and paint drip down the canvas, on purpose. She told us that she lets this happen in all of her paintings, to remind us that life is imperfect and so is art and that it keeps us real, just like her paintings. I love that she is not striving for perfection, she is striving for art and beauty and story.

I was reminded of my painting today because of another experience. I have been trying out a new way of eating to see if I can “rearrange” some parts of me that have caused me grief for many years. The regime is quite strict and I was lamenting to my husband that I have lost my enthusiasm for it. I love nutrition and food and am always learning about what is on the cutting edge of information. I have experimented with many different styles of eating and tend to jump in with both feet, into wildly drastic change. Of course, I tire of the structure and abandon it when I feel too deprived. I have learned that feeling deprived is one of the worst ways I can feel. There is nothing juicy about deprivation!

So anyways, I was mentioning to my husband that I was feeling deprived and my enthusiasm was waning, even though I was seeing results after only two weeks. He replied that of course I felt this way, I was trying to do the shift “perfectly”. He suggested that if I were a little more lenient and gentle with myself that I would probaly feel better and less deprived. I have not been one for breaking many rules in my life, although I am learning that not all rules are good rules. So, the last few days, I have planned for some imperfection. Nothing really major, but just some little moments where I purposefully eat what I am not supposed to. So long Good Girl, I am having a blueberry today! How clandestine! You may laugh, and I do too, but it is actually a really big deal. I have never before planned for imperfection. It is really liberating.

Today I was at a health food store with my 7 year old daughter, Zoe, and there were samples out on the counter. I gave her a tiny piece of banana bread and then took a little forbidden square of pleasure for myself. My daughter raised an eyebrow and a big smile grew on her face. She declared, “Good for you Mommy!” She knew I had just broken a rule and that it was a big deal. She likes to follow the rules too, so I feel like I set a really good example today. Definitely not the original vision I had for myself when I was a new mother, but infinitely better and more powerful. I am teaching her that a little fun never hurt anyone, that being gentle with ourselves is a great investment and that planned imperfection can be really, really liberating.

I am so grateful for the lesson I learned from my gorgeous painting. The black drips run down the stark white canvas in places where they shouldn’t be. They are reminders that imperfection leads to deep, deep perfection within because when we accept ourselves for who we are and know that “I am enough”, life becomes infinitely beautiful and fun.

PS Although it pains me to do so, I left a spelling mistake in the 3rd paragraph, at my insightful husband’s suggestion.

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Circle Addiction




I am Vividly Woman! I want to shout it from the roof tops and throw my bra out the window!

I feel compelled to share yesterday’s Ah Ha moment with my Sisters because I want this for all of us.

Life happens each and everyday, thank Goddess. Yesterday happened to be one of those days that challenged my nerves and tested my resolve. At midnight my youngest daughter woke me up with the news that her belly hurt.

For the next five hours she proceeded to throw up thanks to the stomach flu she picked up at school. It was an agonizing, exhausting night and an even harder morning getting my other kids up and off to school.

The clean up began and I was feeling quite cranky. In the midst of the chaos I looked in my agenda to make sure I wasn’t missing something and I saw that I had scheduled a call with my business partner and Vividly Woman Sister, Leela. A smile crossed my lips. Yeah! I get to have a little sister time.

The familiar tingles rose through my body. It was then that I reminded myself to close my eyes and bring myself back to my circle of sisters who I had just left a few weeks back while at Vividly Woman Leaders Circle 1 in Ojai, California. I held my left hand up and my right hand down and I was transformed back to ME in all my Goddess glory, mop in hand and all.

Another jolt of joy and calm rose up when I reminded myself that I would be once again physically in circle in just a few weeks when I assist at Sacred Sensual Splendor in Mexico. Ahhhh, yesssss!

I know for sure that participating in circles as often as possible, live and virtual, is an indulgence, verging on addiction, that I’ve consciously chosen to give/gift myself. I am worthy of the support, the love and the sisterhood that fuels my soul and ignites my spirit. I am in true awe of how I’ve peeled away the layers that had built up over time and I’ve allowed myself to bring back that little girl that was buried deep inside; the excited, sensual, curious, playful and hopeful girl – the girl who knows not to just get through a day, but to dance through it.

I am living breathing proof that Vividly Woman & sacred circle changes lives.

I”m embodying and exuding what I’m learning from each circle. I’ve become a beautiful example for my family to see how I value taking care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually. The peaks and valleys I experience come much more smoothly. In return, those around me serve ME, the Goddess, in reverence and respect. I love my life, I love my sisters, and I love being Vividly Woman.

Contact me any time for a hit of Vividly Woman Sisterly love
randi@VividlyWoman.com

Randi Markel is co-founder of Vividly Woman Vivapreneur Academy and a Vividly Woman Co-Facilitator. With a background in education and fundraising project management, and as the mother of 4, she is a woman who lives fully and vividly!

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