burn out


Planned Imperfection



I have an amazing painting at my house that is done in the encaustic style. Beeswax is melted and applied to the canvas and there is also some pigment. The artist must work quickly to work with the wax as it hardens. My painting is a black and white portrait of a woman gazing wistfully upward. It is extremely well done, almost perfect, save for one feature. The artist, Bigoudi, always lets some of the wax and paint drip down the canvas, on purpose. She told us that she lets this happen in all of her paintings, to remind us that life is imperfect and so is art and that it keeps us real, just like her paintings. I love that she is not striving for perfection, she is striving for art and beauty and story.

I was reminded of my painting today because of another experience. I have been trying out a new way of eating to see if I can “rearrange” some parts of me that have caused me grief for many years. The regime is quite strict and I was lamenting to my husband that I have lost my enthusiasm for it. I love nutrition and food and am always learning about what is on the cutting edge of information. I have experimented with many different styles of eating and tend to jump in with both feet, into wildly drastic change. Of course, I tire of the structure and abandon it when I feel too deprived. I have learned that feeling deprived is one of the worst ways I can feel. There is nothing juicy about deprivation!

So anyways, I was mentioning to my husband that I was feeling deprived and my enthusiasm was waning, even though I was seeing results after only two weeks. He replied that of course I felt this way, I was trying to do the shift “perfectly”. He suggested that if I were a little more lenient and gentle with myself that I would probaly feel better and less deprived. I have not been one for breaking many rules in my life, although I am learning that not all rules are good rules. So, the last few days, I have planned for some imperfection. Nothing really major, but just some little moments where I purposefully eat what I am not supposed to. So long Good Girl, I am having a blueberry today! How clandestine! You may laugh, and I do too, but it is actually a really big deal. I have never before planned for imperfection. It is really liberating.

Today I was at a health food store with my 7 year old daughter, Zoe, and there were samples out on the counter. I gave her a tiny piece of banana bread and then took a little forbidden square of pleasure for myself. My daughter raised an eyebrow and a big smile grew on her face. She declared, “Good for you Mommy!” She knew I had just broken a rule and that it was a big deal. She likes to follow the rules too, so I feel like I set a really good example today. Definitely not the original vision I had for myself when I was a new mother, but infinitely better and more powerful. I am teaching her that a little fun never hurt anyone, that being gentle with ourselves is a great investment and that planned imperfection can be really, really liberating.

I am so grateful for the lesson I learned from my gorgeous painting. The black drips run down the stark white canvas in places where they shouldn’t be. They are reminders that imperfection leads to deep, deep perfection within because when we accept ourselves for who we are and know that “I am enough”, life becomes infinitely beautiful and fun.

PS Although it pains me to do so, I left a spelling mistake in the 3rd paragraph, at my insightful husband’s suggestion.

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Why Do We Resist What is So Good For Us?

Many sisters have signed up for the Dance Your Power for Darfur Daily Dance-A- Thon, yet In spite of our best intentions to dance for 15 minutes a day, 15 measly minutes per day, even the most devoted of us are challenged to live up to this meager commitment.

Well, it is precisely because we are challenged that we must do it. If it were easy, there probably would not be women in parts of the world who are denied the basic right and freedom of dancing. If it were easy, we ourselves would likely not be suffering from burn out and chronic disease and lack of self care the way so many of us are.

If it were easy to prioritize our self care and healing self expression, the world would be a profoundly different place.

So, these are the things to understand and accept:

1. It is not easy, and that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it.
2. Community and sisterhood help.
3. Reaching out and sharing the challenge can inspire us beyond the resistance.
4. Most of us do not have self-care wired within us. It needs to be learned and practiced in order to get the hang of it.
5. Dancing together, even if only in spirit, is easier than dancing alone.
6. Remembering that you dance for your sisters when you dance helps alot

Please keep this list handy. When the impulse occurs to you not to dance, remember how blessed we are to live in a world where we can, and then find the dance that most wants to flow from within you in that moment. And remember that there is dance even in stillness!

Dancing Vividly,

Leela Francis is an Embodiment Expert. She helps women dance their power and rock the world with their passion for life.

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