After the Loving- the Integration
Have you ever returned from a training and expected everyone else to have changed and grown up? I know I have.
It came up in a Sister circle call yesterday after the lastest Sacred Sensual Splendor Mexico Retreat. Some sisters were feeling the after circle challenge of landing and re-orienting after a profound week of deep Goddess awakening.
Wouldn’t it be divine if everything you learned, experienced and gained awareness around could instantly be integrated into the tapestry of your life. Just imagine if all the existing systems and relationships would magically shift in psynch with your own expansion, accommodating your personal growth and awakening. Your work associates, your family members, and your clients would all just get it, the way you do!
Well welcome to the next phase of waking up. When you’ve acquired some tools and training, now your work is to artfully weave it all into your life in a wise, patient and energy mature way. In the Vividly Woman embodiment system we call this the texture of Harness. Harnessing energy so that we sustain our expansion is one of the most challenging and exciting things we take on as we dance into our calling to beEmbodied Leaders.
I love watching my Sisters in the Vividly Woman community leave an event all on fire, ready to take on the world. And they do blaze a trail with their passionate sense of awakened self. However, there are also the growing pains that are an inevitable reality in the dance of our life. Like a recent Mexico Retreat attendee who wrote to me after our week in paradise together, “It won’t be sunshine and rainbows every day, but I feel confident that I can come back to this place (in myself) when things do get a little crazy. I really learned how to sustain and utilize my energy in a way I know I couldn’t have gotten from reading or sitting in a seminar.” Now that’s evidence of integration vs post event crash and burn.
It’s largely the time between circles where so much of the wholeing and healing really happen, so that when you come back to circle next time, you are a different woman than when you left. Life has sculpted and molded you exquisitely, and you are ready for the next layer of discovery and integration.
Healthy integration means that we don’t need others to change, or even really need them to understand what we’ve been through. Being able to truly tolerate our own aliveness is all that we need to do while letting others have their own experience. When we have moments of wanting to explode or leak the energy, instead we ground it and spread it internally for an experience of transformative self expansion.
Identify something you crave. Something you desperately desire. That “just got to have it now” feeling. You may have in the past suppressed your craving for this thing, but for this exercise you’re going to give yourself the fullest permission to crave it.
Sense the craving in your body. Where is it in your body, and what is the quality of the sensation.
What you are sensing and the corresponding emotional feeling is your edge of energetic expansion. Your craving is a sensation of wanting to burst, yearning, aching for more space, right? So now, instead of fulfilling that craving and diffusing it, or instead of suppressing it so you don’t feel it any longer, instead of doing anything to the sensation itself, focus on expanding the container, your body.
As you take some nice deep breaths, imagine that with each breath you could expand your physical body. See and experience your body temple growing, inflating.
Now, when you can imagine your physical container larger than before, allow your craving sensation to slowly flow in to fill the extra space, spreading out to fill the new enlarged cavity and being contained in a less urgent ready to burst way, but still nice and plump and comfortably full, like a beach ball that floats. Enjoy the sensation of tolerating the craving because you are more spacious within yourself. Sense that there is more space for the energy expansion potential.